Thrills of a Lagos Babe (Episode 5)

'You can't be serious, Tina.'

She looked at me solemnly. 'I'm serious, Simi. By now, you should know what my sexual orientation is.'

I was too surprised to say a thing. I still kept away, staring at her. She stared back at me.

'But something tells me you are just like me too,' she burst out.

I looked scandalized. 'That I'm what?'

'That you're not straight; that you're a lesbian.'

'Oh, come on. Don't say what you don't know!'

'Don't deny it, Simi. I've known and worked with you for days. I've seen how you look at men impassively; and I've seen how you look at beautiful ladies with interest. I’ve seen the fascination look in your eyes when you look at me.'

My mouth felt dry. 'You're just making this up,' I said.

She chuckled. 'I'm not, and you know it.'

I was breathing hard, but didn't say anything.

She looked at me and smiled. 'I saw you staring at my nakedness when I wanted to change clothes,' she went on. ‘Specifically, you were staring at my boobs.’

I opened my mouth in surprise. 'Oh, stop it. That doesn't mean a thing.'

‘But it does. You were not just looking, you were ogling at them’. She smiled kindly. 'I know it's not an easy thing to accept, but you can't keep on denying it. Okay, I'll cite myself as example. This is my sexual orientation and I can't deny it. This is what is natural to me and I've got to live with it. How long will you keep living in self-denial?'

I didn't say a word. I could not think of a word to say.

She sighed. 'Well, if you're really 'straight' as you claim to be, and my sight is so repulsive to you, tell me to leave this place. I can still go back to the hotel and sleep in my office. So, if I'm wrong in saying you're what I said you are, Simi, tell me to get out of your sight.'

I looked at her briefly and shook my head. How I wished I could tell her she was preposterous, that her claims were absurd. Unfortunately, I could not.

 Some floods of memory came. At eighteen and a fresher in the university, I was a very beautiful one that boys would not stop pestering for a relationship. I found some of them amusing, but was never sexually attracted to them. I found it amazing that the sexual arousal came when I saw other beautiful female. No, I could not be a lesbian, I told myself. How could I be?

I denied this essence in my life and tried to talk and act as a normal female. No single soul knew that my sexual orientation was different from what it seemed to be; not my mother, not my sister. It was my guarded secret. Certain things I did might however have given people some hints. For example, I hardly had boyfriends and the relationships hardly lasted. Even then, the guys complained that I behaved in a 'frigid' way. I didn't mind them and I didn't give a hoot if they left or stayed.

But Tina seemed to have read me perfectly. She had seen those things I did that gave me out. Was it because she was not 'straight' herself?

I sighed again. 

Tina would not stop staring at me.

'Let me ask you some questions,' she said. 'Did you have a girlfriend before? I'm not talking about female friends. I'm talking about female lovers.'

I shook my head. 'No.'

She breathed in deeply. 'I can understand you. You want to continue the way you've been doing?'

It was my turn to sigh. 'I don't know.'

She nodded. 'What some of us do is to pretend that all is normal, like you've been doing. Some went ahead to have husband and children. Some however keep secret love and try to enjoy themselves in their own ways. Our society does not help matters. Here, same-sex marriage is criminalized while people look at us like we're outcasts.'

I nodded but said nothing.

'You can carry on like a 'straight' female, Simi. But you don't have to keep denying yourself of some enjoyment. You can get yourself a secret lover, like I've been doing.'

'You have a girlfriend?' I asked.

'I used to have, but some months ago, she traveled to South Africa.'

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

She smiled at me again. 'Let me take you as my secret love, Simi. It doesn't stop you from doing the normal things, like being a beautiful lady, getting married and having children.'

I hesitated. This was the first time I would be coming face to face with a lady who showed understanding to the feelings I had been suppressing for years.

'Give it a trial,' she said. 'If you don't want it later, you can always stop it.'

I nodded as I thought she had a point there.

She smiled, once more, at me. 'You're just like a sweet, innocent girl. Don't worry, I promise to treat you very right. I promise to show you the best of love and affection.'

 She threw her arms wide open. 'Oh, Simi baby, come over here.'

I still hesitated.

She stood up from the bed and came to where I stood like a statue.

‘Oh, how sweet, beautiful and innocent you are,’ she said.

 Her right hand came to my cheek. Slowly, she ran it down to my neck and my chest. I did not resist, but I could not encourage her too. Rather, I closed my eyes. That gesture certainly encouraged her. I felt her lips on mine. They were warm, moistened and tender. The experience was electrifying.

Her kiss went on, while her right hand continued to be busy on my boobs. I wasn’t a virgin, but it seemed I was just about to have my first coital experience. I would not just stand there and be impassive. Gingerly, almost tentatively, my right hand went to her left boob. I touched and caressed it. I felt good. By the time her hand went to my private part, I felt I was drifting in the cloud of ecstasy. 

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