Picture: Pexel
The Important Role of Dad
Courtesy: HuffPost
While
almost any man can father a child, there is so much more to the
important role of being dad in a child's life. Let's look atfather is,
and why he is so important.
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While
almost any man can father a child, there is so much more to the
important role of being dad in a child's life. Let's look at who father is, and why he is so important.
Fathers are central to the emotional well-being of their children; they are are capable caretakers and disciplinarians.
Studies
show that if your child's father is affectionate, supportive, and
involved, he can contribute greatly to your child's cognitive, language,
and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner
core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity.
How fathers influence our relationships.
Your
child's primary relationship with his/her father can affect all of your
child's relationships from birth to death, including those with
friends, lovers, and spouses. Those early patterns of interaction with
father are the very patterns that will be projected forward into all
relationships...forever more: not only your child's intrinsic idea of
who he/she is as he/she relates to others, but also, the range of what
your child considers acceptable and loving.
Girls
will look for men who hold the patterns of good old dad, for after all,
they know how "to do that." Therefore, if father was kind, loving, and
gentle, they will reach for those characteristics in men. Girls will
look for, in others, what they have experienced and become familiar with
in childhood. Because they've gotten used to those familial and
historic behavioral patterns, they think that they can handle them in
relationships.
Boys on the other
hand, will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for
their father's approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviors
that they recognize as both successful and familiar. Thus, if dad was
abusive, controlling, and dominating, those will be the patterns that
their sons will imitate and emulate. However, if father is loving, kind,
supportive, and protective, boys will want to be that.
Human
beings are social animals and we learn by modeling behavior. In fact,
all primates learn how to survive and function successfully in the world
through social imitation. Those early patterns of interaction are all
children know, and it is those patterns that effect how they feel about
themselves, and how they develop. Your child is vulnerable to those
early patterns and incorporates those behavioral qualities in his/her
repertoire of social exchange.
It is impossible to over-estimate the importance of dad. For example, girls who have good relationships with their fathers tend to do better in math,
and boys who have actively involved fathers tend to have better grades
and perform better on achievement tests. And well-bonded boys develop
securely with a stable and sustained sense of self. Who we are and who
we are to be, we are becoming, and fathers are central to that outcome.
Changing family roles.
Only 20 percent of American households
consist of married couples with children. Filling the gap are family
structures of all kinds, with dads stepping up to the plate and taking
on a myriad of roles. When they are engaged, fathers can really make a
difference. He may be classically married, single, divorced, widowed,
gay, straight, adoptive, step-father, a stay-at-home dad, or the primary
family provider. What is important is that he is involved.
The
emergence of women into the job market has forever changed how society
views the traditional roles of fathers and mothers. Feminism and
financial power has shifted classic parenting trends, and today
approximately 60 percent of women work.
Add to that, the shift in marriage, divorce, lowered birth rates, and
family structures of all types, and you can see the emergence of a
softening and changing of traditional parenting roles. This transition
in economics, urbanization, and sexual roles has led to more opened,
flexible, and undefined functions for fathers.
A recent study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
(NICHD), indicates that dads are more engaged in caretaking than ever
before. The reasons for this are varied, but they include: mothers
working more hours and receiving higher salaries, fathers working less,
more psychological consciousness, coping skills, mental illness
intervention, self-worth issues, intimacy in marriage, social
connection, and better role modeling for children.
Further, children who are well-bonded and loved by involved fathers,
tend to have less behavioral problems, and are somewhat inoculated
against alcohol and drug abuse. Yet when fathers are less engaged,
children are more likely to drop out of school earlier, and to exhibit
more problems in behavior and substance abuse. Research
indicates that fathers are as important as mothers in their respective
roles as caregivers, protectors, financial supporters, and most
importantly, models for social and emotional behavior. In fact, a
relatively new structure that has emerged in our culture is the
stay-at-home dad. This prototype is growing daily, thanks in part to
women's strong financial gain, the recent recession, increase in
corporate lay-offs, and men's emerging strong sense of self.
Even
when fathers are physically removed from their families, there are ways
for them to nurture healthy relationships with their children. For
instance, recognizing the important role fathers play in daughters'
lives, Angela Patton started a program in which young girls went to
visit their fathers in prison for a father-daughter dance. It was a
successful program that has spread across the country and helped not
only daughters find connection, love, and support from fathers, but also
for fathers to feel important in the lives of their daughters.
When fathers are separated from their children after a divorce, there are many ways they can remain bonded with their children.
Though divorce is traumatizing to boys and girls alike, strong,
consistent, and loving parenting from fathers can help make the
transition successful.
Thanks, Dad.
Finally,
on this Father's day, it is important to recognize and reward dads for
being there, and actively teaching important life skills to children. It
is important to their children, and meaningful to dads everywhere when
you say "Thank you, job well done." This, after all, is what makes life
worth living. This is your true legacy: ensuring the health and
well-being of your children, that future generation to be.
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