Why Young Men Opt For Old Ladies

Many men are attracted to younger women. Mainly it's a visceral, physical thing although some men may value a younger woman because she is more likely to look up to him if only because he may have advanced more in his career.
But there are reasons men should consider older women as a potential marriage partner. I will admit I'm biased: My wife is five years older than I am and we've been contentedly married for almost 40 years now.
Sexual compatibility.  Alfred Kinsey's classic work on sexuality concluded that men's sexual hormones peak at 18, women's in their early 30s. Of course, factors other than hormones affect sexuality, for example, being experienced at sex, but a man increases his chances of sexual compatibility by marrying an older woman.
Maturity in the relationship. Having lived longer, a person is more likely to have maturity that comes with age: not to fight so much about trivia, not as likely to have an affair having gotten that out of her system. Marrying an older woman, on average, means marrying a more mature person.
Maturity in parenting. Parenting is far more difficult and stressful than many people realize. It requires great maturity and equanimity to consistently set limits but not excessive ones, remain calm, and collaboratively solve problems with your child. A 30-something is more likely to have that maturity than is a 20-something.
Likely to be further in her career. As mentioned, older people have had more time to advance in their career. So marrying an older woman, on average, not only increases the chances she'll contribute more money to the family income, she'll be in a better position to offer career advice and maybe even help her husband land a better job. Plus, having an experienced career woman as a mate allows confidential career advice that may not be possible from peers.
Health compatibility. Women live five years longer than men, and men die earlier of nine of the top ten leading causes of death. Current research summarized in a BBC review, suggests this is caused by biology, not lifestyle. So, on average, a man choosing a woman five years older is marrying his physiological equal.
Why might that matter? At age 80, the average man is moribund or dead. There now are more than four widows for every widower. If an 80-year-old man is married to a 75-year-old, physiologically 70, even if she still loves him, she may feel he's an albatross and he may feel he's a burden. In contrast, if he had married someone five years older than him, they're more likely to be health peers and to fade away together.
Earlier on life's conveyer belt, the typical 65-year-old man has at least one significant health issue. If he's married to a 60 year-old woman, he's married to someone who, on average, is physiologically ten years younger and thus likely healthier and more vigorous, physically and mentally. If you'd feel more comfortable growing old with someone in similar shape to you, consider an older woman.
article continues after advertisement

Marrying an older woman may even yield benefits fairly early in a marriage. For example, compatible energy levels makes it more likely that a couple will want to recreate together. So, for example, anecdotally I've observed that more women than men ages 35 to 40 want to do do extreme sports such as rock climbing, run marathons, or do triathlons.
Objections
"But people will think less of me."  Should you make such a major life decision based on some narrow-minded people's definition of normalcy?
"But I'd like to have children and older women are less fertile." Today, thanks to prenatal screening, most women have a high probability of having a healthy baby through their 30s and even early 40s. For many people, the difference in fertility rate is too small to trump the factors cited above.
The takeaway
Most important in choosing a wife, of course is compatibility: sexually, interpersonally, in values, plus whether they're kind and, of course, that you love each other: You feel great just being in a room with that person, you put each other on a pedestal, and are pleased to do things for that person. I expand on those in the article, Should You Marry This Person?
You may more likely find a wife you'll be contented with long-term if you don't limit your options to people of your age and younger. In fact, as argued above, there's reason to believe you'll be happier with an older woman.
Dr. Nemko’s nine books are available. You can reach career and personal coach Marty Nemko at mnemko@comcast.net.help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.

Why Are More Young Ladies Marrying Old Men?

At 7 a.m. on a recent Monday, I sat in a beige waiting room surrounded by back issues of AARP The Magazine and pamphlets on gastrointestinal health. “Is anyone here for Jack?” a nurse asked. I raised my hand, and she searched my face for the word she needed.

“Your…uh…um…”

“Husband,” I filled in for her.

“Right,” she said, eyebrows raised. “Your husband’s colonoscopy is done and he’s nearly ready to go home.” She walked me to where Jack, still loopy from anesthesia, chatted merrily with the surgery center staff, his naked butt exposed in his backless hospital gown. He made the nurses giggle with slurred jokes about Snapchatting his experience in the endoscopy ward—funny, because Jack's never used Snapchat.

“He’s such a hoot!” one of the nurses said.

Couples like us, with an age gap of 20 or more years, have a 95 percent chance of divorce.

Ten years ago, I couldn't have imagined settling down with a man 20 years my senior, “hoot” or not. There’s the biannual colonoscopy to sit through, because at 52, Jack’s at that point in life. There’s also the social stigma, the difference in career phases, the fact that Boyz II Men brings him no childhood nostalgia whatsoever. Our differences, experts say, give couples like us, with an age gap of 20 or more years, a 95 percent chance of divorce.

 

Given the statistics, why do women like me yoke ourselves to men old enough to be our fathers?

Getty Images

Popular theory suggests gold-digging is in effect, since older men presumably have greater financial security. But three years into my marriage, I’m still (happily) driving a 2004 Honda Element with 160,000 miles and a back door held shut with my German Shepherd’s leash. While I’ll admit that it was Jack who introduced me to the joys of bottled wine over boxed and hotels over hostels, my husband is a guy who invests most of his money back into his business and his community—one of the reasons I fell for him—and I work hard to bring in my own. Besides, recent research suggests it’s millennial men who are most likely to marry for money. With more than 40 percent of American breadwinners now female, I'd argue we're looking at the rise of the sugar momma.

Harder for me to write off, according to scientists, is another unflattering explanation for May-December romances: the dreaded daddy-issues theory. While an American Psychological Association study debunked the hypothesis that younger wives are compensating for lousy father-daughter relationships, the research didn’t address women like me, whose dads have been caring and present and normal. Could we be the ones subconsciously attracted to a ::cringe:: daddy-husband?

“The short answer is ‘yes,’” says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., AARP's love and relationship expert and best-selling author of American Couples. “A woman can have a healthy relationship with her dad and still be looking for that father figure in a spouse. Someone who can protect them and teach them—someone who has taken on the world, and who can help them take on the world, too. It’s not that these women are sexualizing their dads, but the things that a dad represents.”

Related Story

Khloé Kardashian Moved in with an Older Man at 16

Initially, Jack represented nothing for me but a job. When we met eight years ago, I waited on his table at a fancy restaurant in a small New Jersey town. I was a graduate student studying journalism, and I knew Jack (who was on a date at the time) was the owner of a local publishing company. Between taking an order and delivering a check, I pitched myself as a writer-for-hire.

A gig wasn’t in the cards—his company wasn’t hiring—and neither was a romance. Jack would tell me later that, although he’d found me cute in an overly eager, naïve sort of way, I wasn’t his type. His celebrity crush is Martha Stewart, and I have neither her bone structure nor her flair for miniature fruitcakes.

“A woman can have a healthy relationship with her dad and still be looking for that father figure in a spouse.”

But a year later, Jack stumbled upon a blog I wrote and sought me out to offer me a job. It felt thrilling to finally be working in a real office with real business cards and a real mentor. When I needed an apartment—tough to find in a resort town with sky-high rents—Jack offered me a room in his house, which meant we frequently worked late before coming home to split a bottle of wine. It was here I discovered Jack’s bleeding heart for animals, his passion for restoring vintage typewriters, and his talent for narrating dull car trips with an uncanny Sean Connery impersonation. Somewhere between copy-editing and cabernet, we became great friends...and then more.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Related Story

Brigitte Macron Addresses Age Gap for First Time

It complicated everything. I fretted for months over revealing my new relationship to my traditional parents, who were surprisingly alright with it. I worried that already living with Jack would torpedo our chance at love. And I worked extra hard at my job in order to show the small-town-gossip set I wasn’t some floozy with a fetish for baby boomers. So the implication that falling for Jack could have been a ploy by my subconscious to secure a daddy figure who’d make life easier? Cue the explosion of my feminist head.

My raised hackles are to be expected, sociologists say. Although society is trending toward greater acceptance of individual choice, there still exists the idea that by marrying older, a woman has turned against her gender (i.e., she’s perpetuating the fallacy that men should be providers while a woman’s value is as a trophy). One friend told me he’d lost all respect for me when I committed to someone so far my senior. And when Jack and I married three years ago, acquaintances placed bets on how long it would last.

“It’s a paradox,” Schwartz says. “In many cases, the more progressive a woman’s friends, the more likely they are to raise their eyebrows at a big age gap. Often, it’s not that there is anything wrong with the love or desire between the individuals, but with the way it works in terms of placement in the world—she may get a lifestyle upgrade or an intellectually potent guy, but it often displaces the woman more than the man.”

Case in point: Shortly after we started dating, I’m the one who quit my job. Since Jack’s life in New Jersey was already established, I also reimagined my five-year plan, which had involved moving to a bigger city with a larger network of young professionals and fewer early-bird specials. I can see how, on paper, the power dynamics of my relationship look ripe for judgement. And that judgement is not entirely unfounded. In addition to his lumberjack good looks, I am attracted to Jack’s intellectual potency, his worldliness, and the unwavering way he protects the things he loves—all idealized “daddy” qualities (albeit ones I’d also find attractive in a 20-something).

Getty Images

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

There have been times—like when we started having sex—that I’ve happily let Jack take the lead. After all, he’d been doing it longer than I’d been alive. You would think his considerable experience would make me, a relative prude, feel self-conscious about my lack of sexual savvy, but it did the opposite. I’d spent my adult life pretending to be comfortable with physical intimacy, trying too hard to be sexy and desirable. Being with someone so seasoned in the sheets—coupled with my desire for an honest relationship with this great guy—allowed me to relax and let Jack teach me. (The lesson: I should be enjoying sex, too.) The double orgasms I started experiencing made it easy to laugh off friends who said they didn’t “get” my relationship, as though it were a word problem from high school algebra. The 2011 book Getting Intimate: A Feminist Analysis of Old Age, Masculinity and Sexuality, details several studies indicating men become less selfish in bed as they age. In it author Linn Sanberg, Ph.D., quotes a Swedish verse: “With the older man you need not worry. He does it thoroughly; he’s in no hurry. But younger men, they are just shit. They barely get there before ‘that’s it.’”

For every sexy advantage, there’s an unsexy obstacle: Jack’s idea of classic TV heaven is Gunsmoke; I’d rather binge Gilmore Girls. He bemoans the entitlement of the, ahem, millennial generation over dinner. And my innate millennial thirst for adventure often clashes with Jack’s desire to protect a wonky ankle.

Jack’s idea of classic TV heaven is Gunsmoke; I’d rather binge Gilmore Girls.

A recent ziplining fiasco comes to mind. After accidentally zipping half-way back, Jack was left spinning forty-five feet above the ground in slow, dizzying circles, spewing four-letter words that echoed through the aerial course I’d harangued him into trying. Later, while laughing about his rescue over a beer, he told me what had run through his mind while swaying in the breeze: “I’m too old for this shit.”

Then there’s the greatest practical disadvantage to marrying older: the worry that you’ll spend a chunk of your life feeding him Ovaltine through a straw before ultimately dying alone. Last year, after Jack contracted Lyme disease but before we received a proper diagnosis, I convinced myself he was dying and that the thing everyone had warned me about, the relatively short shelf-life of my marriage, had come to pass. If Jack had been in his 30s, I’m not sure I would have made the leap from “strange symptoms” to “certain death” so quickly.

So, if it’s possible to argue that marrying older wasn’t in my best interest, in whose interest was it? My hypothetical children's.

Getty Images

Evolutionarily, "women who were attracted to older men fared well and produced healthy offspring, since older men tended to have resources," says Darren Fowler, M.S., a Halifax-based clinical psychologist and the co-author of the aforementioned daddy-issues study. "These types of sexual preferences have been molded into our brains.”

In prehistoric days, “resources” would have included a good network of hunters, better equipment for spearing saber-toothed tigers, and generally more caveman knowhow. Today, “resources” refers more to financial prowess—a diversified portfolio or a job near the C-suite—but the general idea is the same: the guy who's had more time to accrue these things is presumably better equipped to help care for a child. The fact that I’m not even sure I want children? Doesn’t matter, Fowler says; I could have been nudged by my subconscious.

But everything's a tradeoff. Coupling up with an older man compounds the pressure to have children that’s placed on all women; I can hear my biological clock ticking louder whenever I picture Jack coaching little league at 65. All the studies confirming links between aging sperm and high-risk pregnancies don’t help. The danger is so great, scientists in New Zealand have spent $345,000 studying the sexual habits of zebrafish in an attempt to pinpoint the biological drive that compels human women to choose older mates, despite the hazards.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Related Story

There Is an Ideal Age Gap for a Lasting Marriage

While I’m not sure I care to know what a fish has to say about my life choices, I understand the fascination with age gaps. Determining our comfort zone (5 years? 20? 40?) is an interesting litmus test for our personal moral framework and an opportunity to reflect on the social constructions within that framework. I’ve spent some time thinking about this well-argued piece by Heather Schwedel, in which she calls women like me traitors to our generation. Schwedel refers to an especially large age gap as “everything that’s wrong with our sexist, youth-worshipping, male-privilege-run-amok society.”

Honestly, I don’t know where I stand. Maybe I am a traitor. Or maybe Schwedel’s belief is informed by the same mercurial zeitgeist that determines when shoulder pads are out of fashion and wallpaper is hip again. Maybe we’d all do well to dress and decorate and marry however the heck we want. Isn’t it possible two mismatched people get together simply because they hit it off, no complex sociobiological equations required?

“The ultimate thing is looking at this person to person, marriage to marriage,” Schwartz says. “Sometimes, there’s no accounting for the psychological bond between people." And sometimes, a few failed ziplines or dates in the endoscopy ward are a small price to pay for that bond.

Female Sexual Dysfunction

Article culled from: webmd.com

Female Sexual Dysfunction

In this Article

• What Causes Sexual Dysfunction?
• Who Is Affected by Sexual Dysfunction?
• How Does Sexual Dysfunction Affect Women?
• How Is Female Sexual Dysfunction Diagnosed?
• How Is Female Sexual Dysfunction Treated?
• Can Female Sexual Dysfunction Be Cured?
• How Do Hormones Affect Female Sexual Dysfunction?
• What Effect Does a Hysterectomy Have on Female Sexual Dysfunction?
• How Does Menopause Affect a Female Sexual Dysfunction?
• When Should I Call my Doctor About Sexual Dysfunction?

A sexual problem, or sexual dysfunction, refers to a problem during any phase of the sexual response cycle that prevents the individual or couple from experiencing satisfaction from the sexual activity. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

While research suggests that sexual dysfunction is common (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty), it is a topic that many people are hesitant or embarrassed to discuss. Fortunately, most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.

Continue Reading Below

you might like

What Causes Sexual Dysfunction?

Sexual dysfunction can be a result of a physical or psychological problem.

• Physical causes. Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include diabetes, heart disease, neurological diseases, hormonal imbalances, menopause plus such chronic diseases as kidney disease or liver failure, and alcoholism or drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medications, including some antidepressant drugs, can affect sexual desire and function.
• Psychological causes. These include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, or the effects of a past sexual trauma.

Who Is Affected by Sexual Dysfunction?

Both men and women are affected by sexual dysfunction. Sexual problems occur in adults of all ages. Among those commonly affected are older adults, and they may be related to a decline in health associated with aging.

Books Cafe

These books are interesting and exciting

The Sugar Mum

By Love Toread

Alex is a struggling young man whose prayer is answered when he gets an opportunity to work for Madam B, a beautiful and wealthy widow. Despite the fact that the madam is willing to help him, he is made to go through some trials. Ultimately, Alex proves himself worthy of getting the wealthy woman’s trust, confidence and affection.

Everything looks good until Steph, Madam B’s beautiful daughter, comes from the U.S. Alex finds himself entangled in a web of passion, a life-threatening entanglement. His desire to marry Enny is seriously threatened. Madam B has to intervene in a decisive but subtle way for Alex to marry his desired lady.

This is a story of love, narrated in a moving, suspense-filled, passionate way.

Download story from: https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/the_sugar_mum__a_story_of_love/23199

A Fatal Love

By Love Toread

Alex has a good job and a good wife. Everything looks great, but a secret thing he has done in the past with Steph, the daughter of his employer disturbs and troubles him. Alex gets suspended from work. His loving wife parks out of his house. At the peak of these troubles, he meets Lara, an old friend back in their National Youth Service year. Alex falls into the passionate snares of Lara, and gets choked up. Steph and her friends must teach Alex a 'lesson'. He finds himself struggling to survive a terrible affliction. He has been found guilty of ' fatal love' and is at the point of death. This is the concluding part of 'The Sugar Mum'. It is a gripping, fascinating story that must not be missed.

Download story from: https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/a_fatal_love_sequel_to_the_sugar_mum/23963

Love Is a Dangerous Game

By Love Toread

Margaret and Lara share a lot in common, apart from friendship. However, when Lara becomes intimate with Margaret's ex-lover, Tony, the fabric of their friendship becomes threatened and strained. Love becomes a game, a dangerous one, in which only the

adroit can win.

Download story from: https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/love_is_a_dangerous_game/26006

Lost in Lust

By Toyin Olorunsola

Ola and Naomi have the right connecting chemistry right from the first day they set eyes on each other. There are two odds that stand against Ola. The first is that she is older and a single mother. The second is that she earns much more than he does. But the greatest obstacle is the sexy and rich Big Mummy who makes Ola falls into a pit of lusts. It is difficult for Ola to come out of that pit

and still retain his love for Naomi. He is lost in the web of lusts. He must however find himself again and regain the affection of the ever supportive Naomi.

Download story from: https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/lost_in_lust/24333

The Sweet Taboo

By Toyin Olorunsola

Ayo is a man on the move. With a political job he gets in the federal capital city, the sky is the limit. Then, he commits two taboos. The first is with his wife’s sister; and the second is with Ms. Popo, the funky, beautiful single mother, close to fifty years old. Ayo faces

serious repercussion. It is either he continues to enjoy the ‘sweetness’ of the infamous acts and damns the consequence; or he retraces his steps. Whichever decision he takes, things will never be the same for him again.

Download full story from:  https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/the_sweet_taboo/25241

Captives of Lust

By Toyin Olorunsola

Funmi is a wife of a rich business mogul. She has everything going on well in her life. The appearance of Nancy on the scene threatens to sweep Funmi’s husband away and to destroy everything Funmi has labored for. She will not take this. She is prepared to go to any length to fight for what she believes is hers, including street fighting. However, the fight goes beyond the physical, and thankfully, she soon realizes this. As for the man, he too realizes that the affair with the other lady is nothing other than an

experience of captivity.

Download full story from:  https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/captives_of_lust/25567

The Den of Delilah

By Tony Sunkan

Steve is a handsome, serious-looking guy who has a cool source of income and looks forward to better days. In the course of expanding his business, he is linked with Eno, a lady he believes will be a good investor. But what she introduces him to is much more than what he bargains for. He finds himself in a passionate and salacious den that changes his life in ways he never imagines.

Download full story from: https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/the_den_of_delilah__18/26154

A Thorn in the Flesh

By Tony Sunkan

Henry is the son of well-to-do parents who want him to climb up the ladder of life fast. He desires a good life and a good family. In his exuberance, he bungles the 'arangee love' between him and the senator's daughter. The lover he settles for is rejected by his parents but Henry remains determined to settle down with the unapproved lady. All can still work out well, but he has a passion which is more of a thorn in the flesh. This passion threatens all other things.

Download full story from: https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/a_thorn_in_the_flesh_18/26753

Thrills of a Lagos Babe

By Wura Serano

Simi is a simple lady until she moves over to Lagos to start a job. Working with someone as sophisticated as Tina opens her eyes to many things. Her new perspectives make her see sex as something that can be well explored. Two major tragedies in her life bring Simi back to the reality. In a hard way, she realizes that she must live a godly life.

Download full story from:  https://publish.okadabooks.com/book/about/thrills_of_a_lagos_babe/26425

Benefits of Kissing

Story Courtesy of Woman's Day 

We know kissing as a social pleasantry, the appropriate ending to a date and a means of connecting with our main squeeze. The collision of lips and tongues that we often take for granted has a whole lot more bubbling under the surface than what meets the eye. Swine flu scares and mono aside, kissing actually does a body very, very good.

1. Kissing boosts immunity. A recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says kissing may increase a woman's immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. Otherwise, the bug is relatively harmless in adults. Kissing has long been thought to be a way to pass along bugs and thus strengthen the body's defenses.

2. Kissing helps you pick the best mate. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes kissing as a "mate assessment tool."

"Much of the cortex is devoted to picking up sensations from around the lips, cheeks, tongue and nose. Out of 12 cranial nerves, five of them are picking up the data from around the mouth. It is built to pick up the most sensitive feelings—the most intricate tastes and smells and touch and temperature. And when you're kissing somebody, you can really hear them and see them and feel them. So kissing is not just kissing. It is a profound advertisement of who you are, what you want and what you can give."

Other researchers note that kissing is biology's way of determining who in nature you are most genetically compatible with.

"At the moment of the kiss, there are hard-wired mechanisms that assess health, reproductive status and genetic compatibility," says Gordon G. Gallup Jr., a professor of evolutionary psychology at the State University of New York at Albany who studies reproductive competition and the biology of interpersonal attraction. "Therefore, what happens during that first kiss can be a make-or-break proposition."

3. Kissing burns calories! Depending on different reports, anywhere from 2 to 6 calories a minute. Not quite a jog on the treadmill, but an hours worth of smooching may burn off half a handful of M&Ms or half a glass of wine. Hey, it's something.

4. Kissing keeps facial muscles strong. Sure tight abs or cellulite-free thighs may be first on the Tone Up list, but don't underestimate the workout your mouth gets during a makeout session. Researchers say you use 30 muscles while kissing and the smooching helps keep your cheeks tight. Nice. We'll take what we can get.

5. Kissing naturally relaxes you. Scientific reports say kissing increases the levels of oxytocin, the body's natural calming chemical and also increased endorphins, the body's feel-good chemicals. Swapping spit is also noted to increase dopamine, which aids in feelings of romantic attachment.

Thrills of a Lagos Babe (Episode 13)

Pix: Unsplash

I turned to face him the moment the children were out of sight. 'What was that?'

He smiled. 'It's our way of welcoming you to the house.'

I grinned. I suspected there was more to this, but I would play along.

'Do you want anything for dinner?' he asked.

I shook my head. 'Oh, no, I've eaten.'

'Let me take you to my bedroom, then.'

I picked up my handbag and followed him to the bedroom. It was a very large and comfortable room with king-size bed. He was already in pajamas, so I was the one to change clothes.

He eyed me with interest as I wore my skimpy and sexy night wear.

'I know you must have missed me terribly and you're gearing for the real action,' I teased him.

'I missed you,' he agreed, ‘but I’m not angling for any action.'

'Really?' I wriggled my waist and seductively shook my breasts. 'Are you sure about that?'

'I'm sure,' he asserted. 'I didn't bring you for sex, Simi.'

I stopped to stare at him. 'Really? So, what did you bring me for?'

He looked solemnly at me. 'Simi, I have seen in you great qualities. You are indeed an embodiment of beauty and brain. Will you marry me?'

I froze. There would have been complete silence for several seconds, except for the noise from the split air-conditioning system.

I finally recovered from the shock. 'No, no, no, Mola. Tell me this is a joke.'

He chuckled. 'No, it's not. I really want to marry you, Simi.'

'No, you can't be serious. You're joking.'

'I'm forty-four years old, my dear. Why would I be joking on this kind of thing?'

I looked away from him, not knowing what else to say.

He was staring at me. 'I know you'll be a good companion and wife. I have no doubt about that.'

I still wanted to put on an air of indifference, but my mind cautioned me. Come on, don't be such a wet blanket, my mind said. No man had ever expressed so much zeal about future companionship like this before, not even Daniel with all his gra gra.

I suddenly smiled. 'First and foremost, let me appreciate you for deeming me worthy of being a life partner. But this is a very serious matter. It's a life-long thing. Give me some time to think over it.'

He smiled. 'I understand you perfectly and completely agree with you.'

'Alright, let's go to bed, darling. I've got to wake up early tomorrow morning.'

I climbed on the bed and snuggled up to him. He used his right hand to wrap my shoulders and to hold me so lovingly. I rubbed his chest and was surprised he made no further move.

'Well, aren't you going to swing into action?' I asked him.

A big smile played on his face. 'I'm not going to touch you until I hear your answer.'

That answer was another big surprise. 'Really? Are you sure about that?'

He smiled kindly. 'Of course. Right now, I'm happy to have you in my arms. I'm happy to have your companionship.'

I grinned to myself. It was good to hear that. It was good to know that the essence of my coming was just to keep him company.

We soon slept off. I woke up on time to start preparing for work. He was still lazing on the bed when I was through with my dressing. I tapped him on the shoulder.

'Good morning, darling.'

'Good morning, Nike,' he answered.

I was instantly on the offensive.

'Who's Nike?'

He opened his eyes wide and stared at me. 'What?'

'You called me Nike some seconds ago. Who's she to you?'

'I did? Sorry about that. That was the name of my deceased wife.'

I stared at him briefly, the anger oozing out of me.

He sat up on the bed.

My dressing was complete and I was set to go.

‘Sorry, you have to go by cab,’ he said. ‘I didn’t remember to tell the driver to come around early.’

I grinned. ‘Oh, that’s okay.’

He opened his wardrobe and brought a wallet out. The wallet was already unzipped and I could see wads of currency notes inside. He placed it on the stool by the bedside.

‘Take the amount that you need,’ he said, leaving the bedroom for the attached toilet.

That was like being given a blank cheque. Ah, Mola was tempting me o. But then, I decided I would not be greedy, so I removed only five thousand naira from the lot. He soon came back from the toilet.  He accompanied me downstairs.

'Moyo!' he called out.

'Sir!' an answer came from one of the rooms.

The girl that opened the main door for me yesterday soon came out.

'Good morning, sir.'

'Good morning, Moyo. You're to accompany aunty to the bus stop where she could take a cab.'

'Yes, sir.'

He waved bye to me. The bus stop was just a few minutes' walk from his residence. I thanked Moyo as I flagged down a cab and mentioned where I was going. We briefly haggled over how much to pay and finally agreed on something reasonable. Right there in the cab, I thought over Mola's marriage proposition. According to him, he was forty-four. That meant there was seventeen years' difference between us. Seventeen years!

I wondered if I should say yes to him. I knew comfort was guaranteed, but marriage was more than that. I would prefer a younger, much younger, man.

By eight, I had entered my office and was settling down. His call came.

'Hello, darling, hope you got there safely.'

'Yes, I did. Thanks for your concern.'

'You will always be my concern now.'

I grinned. 'Thanks,' I repeated.'

Later that evening, Tina was around. She had said I should be visiting her in her place, but because of my busy schedule, I could not be going there.

'Tina, dear, how're you?' I greeted.

She smiled. 'I feel good. You know what, sweetie? You're looking more and more gorgeous everyday.'

'Thank you. You are looking good too.'

I could not even wait till we got to my room before I started giving her the latest gist.

'Mola has proposed marriage to me,' I said.

Tina was wide-eyed in surprise. 'Really?'

'Yes, he told me last night.'

Tina became exuberant. 'Well, congratulations! When is the wedding?'

'Hey, not so fast,' I cautioned. 'I'm yet to say yes to him.'

Again, she looked surprised. 'What are you waiting for? Tell him yes.'

'But he's about seventeen years older,' I pointed out.

'So what? Are men not supposed to be older than their wives?'

'But, I'm yet to learn so much about him. How could I be sure that we're compatible and we're made for each other?'

'Of course, you're made for each other. You've been going out for several weeks together, now. If you were not compatible, the relationship would have ended long before now.'

She studied my face briefly. 'Wait a minute, don't tell me you're waiting for that Ibadan guy to make a come-back.'

Daniel? No way. He was not even on my mind. I chuckled.

'Listen,' Tina said. 'A lady doesn't need to marry who she loves. She should marry the guy who loves her. That is the important thing: the guy who loves her and can take good care of her.'

I nodded. She had a point there.

'But what if he's a flirt who jumps from one woman to another?' I asked.

'You're not to think so negatively. Believe he is the one and all is well.'

Later in my room, we discussed more about men.

'You've not told me who you want to settle down with and marry,' I said.

She regarded me briefly and smiled.

'About three men are on my waiting list, right now, I've ' not told any of them yes because they don't seem to have enough financial muscle to satisfy my needs. As soon as I get somebody with Mola's kind of resources, my resounding answer will be yes.'

I sighed. What else could I say?

Tina slept over and only left early the following morning for her place of work. About mid-day, Mola called to inform me again that the driver would be coming to pick me.

But, it was just yesterday that I went to his house. It was obvious he wanted to be making my coming very regular. No problem. I was there about the time I got there during my first visit to the house. He hugged me like he had not seen me for weeks.

'Hello, baby. Very good to see you.'

'Hello, darling,' I answered.

He kissed me softly on the lips.

'What will you have for dinner?' he asked.

I grinned and shook my head. 'Sorry, nothing.'

'Okay, let's go upstairs then.' He held me by the hand led me to the staircase and to his room upstairs. When we got there, he brought out a big Ghana-must-go bag from his wardrobe and opened it. It was filled with different lace, guinea brocade and ankara fabrics - all in bundles.

'When we marry,' he said. 'You'll not be wearing only English wears alone. You'll also be wearing things like these. They're for you.'

'Oh, how magnanimous of you,' I gushed and went on to give him a bear hug.

'Are you ready to give me your answer now?' he asked some minutes later.

I smiled. He had put me in a tight corner, hadn't he?

'Okay,' I said. 'My answer is yes.'

'That's my lady,' he enthused, hugged me and briefly held my waist to lift me up. He genuinely looked pleased with my answer.

'Now, let me undress my love and make passionate love to her.'

I obliged him all he wanted. The following day was Saturday. I didn't have to wake up at five in the morning to start preparing for office. We were still in bed till six-thirty. He woke me up with kisses.

'Morning, darling,' I greeted.

'Good morning, sweet heart,' he replied.

I went to the bathroom to have a good bath.

'The driver will take you back,' he said as I was creaming my body. 'And please, don't forget to take your bag of clothes along.'

I smiled. 'Yes, love.' Of course, I would not forget the bag. How could I?

I kissed him good bye. He had to call Manu to carry the bag to the boot of the car. When we got to Berger, I asked Manu not to park in front of the hotel but take the side drive to my residence. He helped in bringing the bag to my room.

I quickly fished out a thousand naira note from my purse.

'Here, have this.'

'Ah, thank you, madam,' he answered and drove off. I had not time yet to examine the clothes one after the other. I would do that another time. Quickly, I changed my dress and locked my room. Mola's car gift, now my car, remained at the spot where I had parked it in the residential compound. I was not in a hurry to be cruising in it. I was not always crazy about cars. Even in Ibadan, mummy said I should be using one of the three cars left behind by daddy. Specifically,

she said I should take the Honda Accord. Believe me, Deola used that car more than I did.

I sighed and went to the hotel. It was another busy weekend. Tina did not come around, as she had said she would be with one of her lovers. We however spoke at length on the telephone.

'Hey, take it easy o,' I said.

'I can take care of myself,' she answered. I went on to tell her I had agreed to Mola's proposition.

'Ah, that's good,' she replied. 'And in case you get a better proposition, then you go for the better option.'

'What? I can't do that!'

She laughed over the line. 'Why not? Make the best from men, Simi, dear. That's what a beautiful lady like you should do.'

I shook my head. 'Except Mola changes his mind, I can't just accept marriage proposition from any other man again.'

'Na him be say Mola's love don dey shark you. Na wa o.'

'I'll like to be faithful to a cause,' I explained.

There was another short laugh from her. 'Okay o, madam faithfulness. Congrats, all the same. Mola is a big catch.'

Download the full e-book from:  https://publish.okadabooks.com/search?term=thrills